New Year: do overs, introspection, and giving yourself credit daily

I really laughed when I saw this meme floating around various social media (sorry no attribution).

Every year it’s the same game we play with ourselves:

This year I resolve to (fill in the blank).

It seems that most of my friends, acquaintances and family through the years repeatedly set themselves up to fail.

Whether it’s to quit smoking, lose weight, save money, etc., most people I speak to give up three weeks into the year: then the self beat down begins.

Some important things I’ve learned in my journey to healthy thinking are:

Know myself down to my core capabilities or qualities.

Decide what is important to me and attainable.

Turn off any negative self speak (baggage from childhood, whatever). “Fake it until I make it” is something I have trained myself to do. People I’ve worked with for years didn’t even know I suffered from my disease. They mistakenly label me as cocky, and obnoxiously self-assured.

Make a daily list of what I aim to complete. Be realistic. Give myself credit for what I complete and push some incomplete tasks to the next day.

Limit contact with people who humiliate me and undermine my beautiful self.

Live in the present. Enjoy life as I experience it. Love myself.

Diverting from a planned resolution is realistic. Seriously, life happens and occasionally I just plain have the “fuckits” and I’m ok with that.

If I have a bump in the road, I don’t die. People still live me and the world goes on.

Do-overs are encouraged.

It helps me to do these things as part of cognitive behavioral training. It takes practice.

I listen to my body and feed it what it needs. I exercise moderately daily. Some days hard, some days just stretching.

I am practicing guided meditation  and hypnosis – I have some links about the meditation. There are some really great guided apps you can try free. I listen to them as I fall asleep.

I communicate with my healthcare providers (thank you VA).

All those things take time but we are worth it.

Please don’t feed the self hate! That is what killed my little brother:

Kyle made a lot of mistakes, and ran from his responsibilities. It snowballed until he decided to drink to escape and it escalated until it bit him in the ass.

He lived in the past. He blamed others for his mistakes. He repeatedly went  back to childhood and how hurt he was that we had imperfect parents. Kyle couldn’t progress past that. His depression would be so severe, he would lock himself in a room and sleep for three days straight.

When he was ashamed enough of his failures and pissing people off, he would relocate and change his phone number.

I would like to think that he would still be here if he understood what his strengths and shortcomings were and built himself around what he could do.

Kyle could design and sew costumes and they were awesome! He could draw, he could fight. He was charming. He could teach martial arts or be a personal trainer.

That said:

Life is hard.

Being an adult sucks.

Be proud of what you are good at. Ask for help with what you can’t do.

You are beautiful.

Peace

#depression #self help #cbt #meditation

Will somebody tag these for me? I’m doing this from a Kindle and I can’t see everything. Thank you! I’m a “nube” in gamer speak lol

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