I hope I can continue to build a satisfying blog experience for y’all. By reaching out beyond myself I find my day always looks brighter.
My preteen daughter complained to me one afternoon she was feeling “fat,” she wasn’t developing fast enough – other girls in gym locker room made fun, and she felt “ugly.”
She was acting like me. Scary thought.
She was finding reasons to feel unhappy and feeding the beast of despair so it would grow.
I stopped and thought of wise and reassuring words to help this beautiful child get through junior high. This kid needed faith that she was beautiful and one day would have the girl parts she craves. She would also conquer body dysmorphia we girls live with daily.
Pretty certain that I wouldn’t cheer her up telling this 65 pound 12-year-old girl, “look at my boobs! When you are last to get them they still stand long after the early developers’ blessings drop!”
That NEVER works, haha. Sigh.
This is what I said,
“I used to stare at my mirror picking my appearance apart and loathing every feature. ‘Why or why did I not look exactly like ( insert beautiful model or actress here)?’ “
I went on to say that I learned to eat healthier, get active, get clean, get dressed, maybe do a little make-up and neat hair, the GET AWAY FROM THE MIRROR. As far as I know our mirrors don’t have the airbrush feature and we certainly can’t afford a makeup team.
She rolled her eyes, that action saying I absolutely am not getting what she’s saying. (Sighing again as this is fairly routine, “Duh!”)
I shook it off and reminded her: by looking outside yourself, helping someone else even in a small way, you forget your insecurities for a while.
What is more beautiful that a compassionate person who cares about her fellow classmates, family, old lady who needs a steady hand when she’s wobbly, (ok, yes that’s me…chuckle)
Time will tell if this advice will do what I want it to. At 46 I am comfortable with my appearance, thus the dysmorphia doesn’t hurt me anymore.
Look outside yourself today – universal message for men, women, and in between – nothing makes you happier than a brief moment of exchanged compassion.